Never easy, the transitional times in our lives, when you arrive somewhere new but still feel like you live elsewhere, the going forward part incremental much akin to labor. Most every essential box we packed-up is now opened and objects are finding their own place in the new space. Paintings, of which we have many, offer decisions we don’t want to rush, so for now we let them elbow out spaces here and there, forming alliances, marking their territory, feeling their way in this new airy and bright little space we attempt to call home. Everything is still unsettled and chaotic but we allow for that knowing that art demands we slow and observe. As my dear friend Jess reminds me, “Art needs to be everywhere because it is the inside of the world” (Bread & Puppet Cheap Art Manifesto).

The impulse for this grand move centers on family. We just could not miss another birthday, holiday or ordinary lunch so far from the people who are our heart. Physically we are here but it will certainly take a while to ground ourselves in this new territory. The littlest guy who leaps fearlessly is showing us how, as we too put ourselves into adventure mode. This past week we have introduced ourselves to neighbors, found our own routes to and fro, listened to the new bird calls, the coyotes howl, even the owls hoot at dusk. All with a big blue sky overheard, perhaps the newest sight of all: a cloudless sky. But we breath and relax and remember we are still we, just here, and that is a constant that feels like home regardless.

I have resisted the retirement label from the start, as it sits awkwardly on my shoulders. I find my greatest joy in doing, in service, in communion, although I always balanced my work life with activities in solitude, people have fueled my sense of purpose. Of course I know I will find plenty to fill my hours but it will take a while for the rewards of purpose to filter into my day to day. For now I am doing my best to allow for those organic avenues to open up before me, for my life to unfold into meaning, even as I write this post on a Friday morning instead of my decades old practice of writing on a Thursday night, I am aware that life is shifting me forward and as awkward as it feels that is good.

So far we have only arrived at high tide at our new favorite beach. The waves break hard on the shore at that time, moving the rocks up and down, making for a thunderous sound. It is impossible not to be mesmerized by the rhythm as well as the harmony this enormous ocean brings to us.  We allow our feet to sink into the sand and feel.