For a number of years I have advocated shutting off the news, avoiding the headlines, and generally occupying life with the stuff you can control. Mostly because I myself could not take another lie from an out-of-control Trump lie or his line-up of spineless acolytes who would rather steal women’s control of their own bodies and become internationally know for corruption than stand for truth or humanity. (The average Republican must be in a state of embarrassment and denial that their party has been hoodwinked by such an inept commander, perhaps shamed to wear a heart so white?)

But the daily news doesn’t stop with the bloat-King, it is an around-the-clock barrage of horrific what-ifs and has-beens that generate fear. Since 2020 my stress level moved to anxious, even threatening my physical health, most notably from the 6:00 news hour. So I stopped filling my living room with pundits who are after ratings rather than objectivity. (If you watch cable news you are subjected to loud topics and slant opinions but certainly not vetted news. Your 14 year old could explain the difference between fact and dis-information, but most would rather laugh at a TikTok dog video than explain a world that’s warming straight into extinction, so you are on your own discerning accuracy). I stay away from reading much on social media platforms too even though the average user seems to believe every unverified claim that poses as fact by reposting it. Thankfully, after reading Adam Grant’s New York Times Op-ed piece this week I did manage to better understand my emotional closing down. 

As a parent and teacher, I often feel powerless when those under my care suffer from the mounting hostility and hatred in the world. In Grant’s essay, “That Numbness You’re Feeling? There’s a Word for It” he discusses the difference between apathy and empathetic distress, a state of mind that I have moved into. “Empathic distress explains why many people have checked out in the wake of these tragedies. The small gestures they could make seem like an exercise in futility. Giving to charity feels like a drop in the ocean. Posting on social media is poking a hornet’s nest. Having concluded that nothing they do will make a difference, they start to become indifferent.” Our medical professionals, teachers, service providers, and frankly, most Americans, have drifted into this numb state of mind, shutting down into a state of despair. 

But for those of us who still have the care of adolescents or college students we must do better. Adams suggests a different mindset which allows for some hope. “…a growing body of evidence suggests that compassion is healthier for you and kinder to others than empathy: When you see others in pain, instead of causing you to get overloaded and retreat, compassion motivates you to reach out and help.” Grant suggests, a possible way to feel less isolated, less overwhelmed, and empowered. “If you notice that people in your life seem disengaged around an issue that matters to you, it’s worth considering whose pain they might be carrying. Instead of demanding that they do more, it may be time to show them compassion — and help them find compassion for themselves, too. Your small gesture of kindness won’t end the crisis in the Middle East, but it can help someone else. And that can give you the strength to help more.”

You still may wish to avoid the news hour or follow every what-if-apocalyptic headline down the rabbit hole of despair, instead building a few avenues to lend support to those around you in need. Start small by focusing on your immediate community: as you gain strength, expand your circle, and let the New Year ring in with compassion.