The very best part of winter is the ease with which one can witness a sunrise. Without waking too early one can catch the brilliance of pink shooting across the horizon. I’m a big fan of an easy celebratory vantage, but an explosive dawn right out my east-facing window takes the prize every time. Sure, it’s cold, bone-chillin cold, but that sky is on fire and in that one moment I am fueled to face the day, with all that it might bring.
How does fear take hold? When does it grab at you? Where can you feel its tug? Can you feel it altering your sensibilities? Hard to imagine a time when fear did not dominate our headlines and lives, but even in the hold of fear I can remember a more fearless me. Standing up and demanding regardless of outcome. That late twenty-something me who seemed to defy gravity. Just reaching for it. Of course I can also remember a timid me too. A frozen and quiet me, creeping around high school, falling into black holes. But this today me, who has built a solid foundation on steady outcomes, this one now wakes in the still-dark dawn and has to talk herself into calmness through deep breathing, just to return to the school building yet another day; this me is struggling. They want us to arm kids with heavy shit, barricade our classroom doors, and teach them to strategize their way to safety despite the AK-15 aimed in their direction. Fear has entered the curriculum, but I suppose, as long as the NRA controls our lawmakers, I need to find my bravery.
As always I move through metaphor: As Without So Within. What’s my first step? Strap on downhill skis (first time in a decade) and send myself straight down the mountain. Well, after heading up first.
While art is occupying Facebook posts, #pussyhats make way for #ShePersisted, #thebusinessman is still spouting #alternativefacts, as his wacko, unqualified, and even dangerous cabinet candidates, one by one, get confirmed. Amidst the politics we must do what we can do and tend to love and compassion and truth. History shows us that if we do, the best of us will prevail. Along with holding these lofty ideals, we must also ski. Breathe in the cold. Re-new and re-fresh our soul.
Nine Cent Girl 