Somedays I wake knowing stuff I wish I didn’t. Like stingrays. Did you know they nestle into the sand along the coastal waters of Southern California? That’s a good spot for them to rest, away from predators, but if you inadvertently step on one, which is more and more common to do, it is indeed a very bad day for you. Most days I really wish I didn’t know these flat creatures lay camouflaged in the very shoreline where I want to splash about. On the other side of this coin of knowledge there’s stuff I’m delighted to know. Like how no matter how old you are, you’ll feel sixteen forever. Dramatic. Emotional. Sometimes silly. Sometimes confident. Sometimes volatile. All of it. Colliding within. In truth there is nothing real about aging, at least not your emotional being, not in anyway important to who you are inside. That creative and wild and impulsive and kooky and misstepping and driven girl is here to stay. That I’m glad to now know for sure.

What is your best teacher? Not who. The who list includes the great ones and the worst we’ve gotten tangled up with over the years. But what are your whats that acted as teacher? Being in the right place at the right time. Hitting the home run in the champion game. Writing the top of the chart song or novel or screenplay or haiku. Holding your child’s (or grandchild’s) hand on a sunny afternoon when you are both thrilled to be doing exactly that. These whats elevate you along an air stream of delight.

But there are other not so easy whats.

Like a sudden job loss or tough medical prognosis or financial struggles or a hard breakup. Each teaches us to stand again after we fall. Looking back, the years that challenged me the most are often the very years that now shine a bit, not due to magnificent achievement but one that highlights a steady defiance to giving up. Seriously, right now, you don’t have to look all that far back to find a challenge. You wake up, grab your phone, and crumble immediately reading how the U.S. just thrust the whole world into a nightmare. In only two weeks the whole planet is embroiled in a shit show of our own making. Okay, this is certainly something I wish I didn’t know. That a few ill-trained individuals were given vast power which they are using for greed or fame or just evil dominion. I suppose every fairy tale predicts such an outcome, as does any Dickens’ novel, but in the end those characters did get their just rewards. Not sure if we’ll witness such divine justice for these despots.

Despite it all, in the midst of the worst administration in our country’s history, parents are waking with their children and singing goofy songs and managing to put nourishing food on their plates and teaching them to be their best selves. I am in awe of our citizens who figure out how to respond to their challenges with grit and determination and maintain the capacity to love. These nameless folks are extraordinary teachers; I am so grateful to know how they make space to also give back to their communities despite every obstacle and roadblock. These valuable caretakers are here for the next generation. Building block by block a sense of worth and safety: their what is selfless, punctuated by a myriad of childhood delights. Knowing them makes us realize the goodness that exists regardless of the headlines.

This week I am happy to learn that bees take a siesta inside a flower. Knowing this makes me smile. Imagine indulging in the most fragrant and luxurious spot for a midday nap? Sounds grand to me. Trusting that you’ll get back to your check-list, your to-do-list, your impossible schedule, but for now you burrow into the fragrant petals and zone out. Delightful to know about this possibility even for a creature who is afforded the word ‘worker’ to its title. If they can take time off to chill perhaps we can too? Hard to argue with worker bee logic.

Realizing life is too short is a mix. On one hand I am grateful to know it for sure and do what I can to be present in each magnificent and mighty moment, but also realizing that for decades I stupidly thought I had an eternity to reach the dreamiest stars of my dreams. Regret is heavy to carry around, so I keep that emotion to a minimum and say a whole lot of yeses when I can. Knowing we weren’t born to sit around and watch. Once we know how brief living is, laughing around a full table seems a valuable activity worth filling up your calendal. Or doing whatever it is that you are hoping to do. That’s the important stuff. Knowing is helpful but not necessary when it’s your dream your chasing.