Unsolicited advice is clearly never of value, but we mothers often have to give it. Even asked for advice is not often worth the words we utter… Like when Marnika, not sure what stage to call it, during middle school, started planning her school outfits at night. Never wanting to be classified in any clique, she dressed like a hippy girl one day and a Goth the next. But the night we always remember was when she masterfully managed down the staircase with the three-inch platform lace-up boots bought in Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, black vinyl pants from the local vintage store that she had to lie down to zip, a non-descript tank-top that didn’t cover much, and a blond Marilyn wig…This evening she came into the living room as we sat reading from our Edna St. Vincent Millay collection. She stood straight shouldered and asked, “Too slutty?”

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