Motherhood places a myriad of demands and emotions blended with falsehoods and truths onto any woman undertaking the role. There is plenty to say about the job but nothing that can be taken as an absolute. Some women take to it naturally, much like Adèle Ratignolle in Kate Chopin’s shocking novel, The Awakening, which explores the absolute imprisonment of her central character, Edna Pontellier. Imprisoned by society’s expectations of mothers and wives, the limiting duties and beliefs of both. Edna chose death instead. Shocking even today as I write those words. But Chopin knew first hand the laborious demands of the job and gave her protagonist an out, a provocative out but the only one that worked for Edna. My own mother had little time to discover how she might want to be as a singular person. Married within two weeks of graduating college and holding her first infant nine months later. Baby after baby after baby occupied her life until her mid-thirties. Despite her boundless energy, her love of people and her natural ability to caretake, this was a arduous routine, and an overwhelming expectation which yoked generations of women, and even her I imagine with six of us making our demands. As women do, she networked, fought to survive, leaned heavily on unmarried sisters or young women willing to do what they must until they entered their own married life. But you’d be fool to think there was choice in their endless mothering. Choice wasn’t in their vocabulary. 
Tag Archives: Mothers
Cheers to those who Mother Us!
Please join with me and give a loud cheer to all the fabulous people who mother. There is a long list of who I could applaud, for starters my own mother, but there have been many who have nurtured my heart, soul, and body through the years. I imagine you too have a lengthy catalogue to applaud. Mother’s Day is the perfect day to reach out with acknowledgment for those who hugged us through the trials.
The Eldest
In order to know yourself, you need to understand where and even who you came from, and in my life, that’s a lot. These larger than life icons informed most everything that defines me, from their striking curiosity about life to their endless devotion to family. Through my mother’s eyes I learned nothing but admiration for her two older sisters. The eldest possessing a brilliant mind that saw no limits, making the cliche of a life-long learner her mantra. The middle sister organized like no other, from the Director of Early Education for the New York City Board of Education to most every niece or nephews’ birthday party: doing both jobs with equal furor. My mother, the youngest, brought the big laugh and warm embrace, turning acquaintances into best friends with ease. But the sisters were entwined in such a way that they shared their strengths, their capabilities, and even their truths. If I didn’t know that when I was a child observing them as distinctive entities, I learned it when first my mother passed, and then another sister, until the oldest was the last one to call me Moira love. She made sure to love me with every bit of her sisters’ traits, and watch over me until her final days. At nearly 98 when she passed on March 1st, her care for my heart and soul was more of a gift than I could ever repay, keeping all her sisters alive within me: all their separation dissolved.
Nine Cent Girl 