Oh my goodness, celebrating a milestone birthday certainly disrupted all the regular day to day stuff in my life, bringing two weeks of travel for multiple gatherings, yes multiple cakes, and so much fun, but not a single moment to jot down even a thought, never mind a blog post. But now, I’m back! Ready to look forward renewed and refreshed, and with a very full heart.
I am that mom who had my kids out the door early. Summer camps and travel experiences led straight to college and beyond. Even if they circled back home they were clear across the country in no time at all. My mom never held me back from life either. Regardless of my questionable decision making, she let the cards fall as they would. When I needed to circle back, she made sure I did not shy away from life for long. All that is to say that I don’t often have them, my children, together in one frame, but last week they stood together for a moment, on a grassy hill, with the latest addition to the clan kicking a soccer ball, ocean pounding along on the horizon and the cobalt blue taking up the vast sky overhead, and I smiled.
In my last post I stated July is for juicy joys only because as valuable as joy is, it is often an elusive emotion, and this July proves no different. The Guadalupe River flooding that devastated the communities throughout Kerr County is as horrific a natural disaster as one could ever imagine. Everyone knows someone who knows a lot of someone’s, my Texas cousin told me. Looking for joy at this moment feels far from possible. And yet, little by little, we must crawl through the darkness, live with the sorrow, and eventually, scratch out some hope as the very word implies: “To hold hope in the absence of any justification for hope.” Somehow this is what we do when called upon in the very worst of situations. “To hope is to transcend one’s circumstances–to know that the circumstances are dire and choose to dream anyway” (McDonald). Tiny step by tiny step, we allow for a sliver of light to inform our dusky and deep sadness, and it is through these moments we will discover hope again.
Nine Cent Girl 